Friends love you in spite of the flaws. Family is who loves you the way are; not in spite of the way you are.
Late Monday my grandmother passed away. Although not a surprise it was sad news, she was 92 and the nursing home had advised my mother to bring in hospice a few weeks ago. The service was yesterday, it was lovely.
I’m sure I even believed it until the visitation on Wednesday. God lover her that cantankerous woman has rallied back from “near the end” so many times. My son, the gentled hearted giant that he is, is very sad. We lived with my mother and grandmother when he as small and they close. For the life of me I don’t remember her ever being cantankerous with him. I think when he was being the hyperactive toddler/preschooler that was making Mom, Dad and Grandma a little crazy Grammie’s room was a nice hide-out (with cookies).
Wednesday, I got laid off. I’m worried about getting by but I can’t bring myself to be actually upset about that job, and honestly I knew it was coming. People leave and aren’t replaced and the call volume was so low. At least they didn’t do like a lot places do and find reason to fire people instead of laying them off.
I was not, as I’ve said so many times, very well suited to that job. I do best when I have a few minutes to think. I’m not really people person anyway, and that job took so much energy and did not really bring out the best in me, which always made me more upset with myself. In short it was probably not the job for an introvert with an anxiety disorder.
I am considering all my options until Monday. There are a lot of things to consider. Right at this moment I think I will look for a seasonal job of some kind, just as stop gap. It’s too late to add classes for this semester and although I will qualify for unemployment it won’t be very much. I may have other idea by Monday, but right now that seems like the best idea. I want to keep my son’s life as stable as I can until graduation.
Although, not the worst week I’ve ever lived though, it has been rough. My family are really the best.
Second Chance by Shinedown
My eyes are open wide And by the way, I made it Through the day I watched the world outside By the way, I’m leaving out Today I just saw Hayley’s comet,shoo-ting Said ,”Why you always running in place? Even the man in the moon disappeared Somewhere in the stratosphere” [Chorus] Tell my mother, Tell my father I’ve done the best I can To make them realize This is my life I hope they understand I’m not angry, I’m just saying… Sometimes goodbye Is a second chance Please don’t cry One tear for me I’m not afraid of What I have to say This is my one and Only voice So listen close, it’s Only for today I just saw Hayley’s comet, shoo-ting Said ,”Why you always running in place? Even the man in the moon disappeared Somewhere in the stratosphere” [Chorus] Tell my mother, Tell my father I’ve done the best I can To make them realize This is my life I hope they understand I’m not angry, I’m just saying… Sometimes goodbye Is a second chance Heres my chance This is my chance Tell my mother, Tell my father I’ve done the best I can To make them realize This is my life I hope they understand I’m not angry, I’m just saying… Sometimes goodbye Is a second chance Sometimes goodbye Is a second chance [x2]
